Why do we have to change??

I am, for lack of better terms, very laid back. Laissez faire. Nothing governs what I do, or how I succeed. My story is of a young single mom moving 1200 miles away from all family, abusive and toxic relationship, and keeping the entrepreneurial spirit and fire alive. And in my plight of coming out of that toxicity, and growing into an actual, mature adult, I became stuck in a rut. Like a real rut. I had kids back to back and just lost my sense of self in between it all. I quit my job (ya’ll already know) knowing I have the mind and means to make money, but not finding the right attitude or desire inside me to try. I joined a young real estate team (just starting out, only a few members) and noticed the many type A personalities that surrounded me. Then I had to wonder, well why am I here??

See, unlike my teammates/counterparts, I am not even close to type A. I don’t jump at the opportunity to speak to people, I don’t have a voice that stops a room, I don’t even have a presence that commands attention from anyone. I mean I’m with people that love talking, breathing, and drinking real estate more than anything in this world! They are all engaging beautiful people. My team looks like a SoCal reality TV cast. So what the heck am I doing here again? Well, I can say I started this post 8 months ago, and I’m JUST now finding the answer to this question.

What am I doing here? Well, I’m doing ME here. I’m bringing that gritty, I’m going to do what I have to do, get it done by any means necessary-ness, to a group of people that don’t think the same. I’m bringing my love of people over my love of money and titles. I don’t give a rat’s ass what I’m making, especially if I know I am putting the right kind of people, MY kind of people, into a home, or connecting them with resources they would not have otherwise found if not for me. I don’t look like that SoCal reality TV cookie cutter cast member, but I’m also not too shabby myself! I am cusping on 30 and I can still work it with the best of ’em. I can drive the boat with Megan Thee Stallion! I mean, in perspective, I popped out 3 kids, 2 of which were back to back, so I’m not sure what I expected to look or feel like 8 months ago, but I’d say I’m doing a damn good job of creating my own beauty standards and career lane. I’m not copying anyone, not stepping on any toes, and I bring real life and real love to what I’m doing. Why do we need to change? Well, honestly, we likely don’t. Because what are we changing for? To fit someone else’s unattainable standards? As humans in general, we make it our job to measure ourselves to other people all the time, whether or not they are similar in situation to us. Why are we changing ourselves for THOSE people? Why aren’t we leaders enough to create our own lane and our own roles in our own lives?

See, 8 months ago I started this post because I thought I wasn’t enough. I watched my team killing it, and it hurt to be the ass-dragging team member. Because 8 months ago I started following Suzy Q on Instagram and saw that Suzy Q was able to pop out 3 kids back to back, work out, go back to work like a boss, and dominate in her field. And 8 months ago the cumulation of all these things made me feel impossibly miserable because I wanted to show my highlight reel to the world as well. But you know what I’m saying, 8 months later? Screw Suzy! I’m good love, enjoy!

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