Okay…okay…this is HARD!

You can think out every aspect to making a grand change, but you cannot account for everything. I say this now, with the utmost understanding. Boy oh boy is this hard!

So to catch you all up, my last working day was 5/25/18. I was the Momtreprenuerial Warrior! She-rah! Hear me roar! All that good stuff. Fast forward, 7/27/18, I am the “ermahgoooosh what am I gonna do????”, “who I gotta cry to?”, “we about to finesse these damn bills!” lady. Obviously, I knew there would be difficult months, especially in the beginning, but man it’s HARD! I’m sharing this struggle with you all because I honestly don’t believe all the women entrepreneurial books show this struggle. Not to say that every one of you will go through this hardship, there are many of you ladies that are much more analytical than I, and can account for the rough times, and have a stronger in house support system. That’s not my situation and I’m not one of those people. I am the “screw it, just do it” girl, and I pride myself in that. I won’t change myself, I’ll change my circumstances. So let me tell you what I missed in my pursuit for freedom.

Literally, EVERYTHING. I didn’t account for the down days, the boring days, the days where pregnant me didnt feel like moving or the days the kids were doing everything under the sun to hinder my greatness. I didnt account for the days I’d be lugging kids around to my showings and meetings, when I’d be paying for my meals, my kids’ meals, and my clients’ meals. The summer days where my head was in the right place, but it was too hot to put plans to action. Thoughts even as minuscule as what I would be wearing or how I would be feeling, never even crossed my mind! And why is that so important? It made me second guess a lot. There are people that couldn’t see my vision. I am constantly proving myself, so the fact that I did not account for these harder days set my mental back tremendously. I wasted days rethinking my decision, applying for temp jobs, and looking for post partum work, because I thought I made a mistake. Really accounting for rough periods, would entail having an idea, not just how I’m going to get my family by, but how am I going to push forward mentally. This was as much a mental, as well as fiscal preparation that needed to happen and I dropped the ball. When the backlash started, I wasnt me rally prepared to deal with it and still push forward. I let myself down more often than not, in my first 60 days. And of course, I don’t ever want my kids to see my stress and disappointment. So, when I’m telling you it’s been hard, it’s been DIFFICULT! I can’t give advice yet, I’m still treading waters, but once I’ve got answers I’m sharing!

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